Some of us are worriers. Some of us just don’t give a shit. And if you’re a worrier, you might be looking enviously at those carefree people who joyfully do whatever they want, or say stuff that you wouldn’t dare say. How can they not care what people think?
Well… As one of those people who literally could not care less what people think, I thought I’d share some tips.
Why should you not care what people think?
First things first – and just to set up our mindset for this article – everyone is different. We’ve all got our own preconceived ideas, cultural background and what not. So my idea of what is normal or acceptable behaviour is different to yours, or anyone else’s for that matter.
To be clear here, I’m not condoning being a dick for the sake of being a dick. I always subscribe to the idea that you should treat other people as you would expect to be treated, and respect everyone’s opinions or beliefs. Even if they are fucking stupid. (jokes).
But basically, worrying about what people might think of what you put on social media, or that your ideas might seem ridiculous, or if your friends might think you’re an idiot for doing something you really wanna do… Well… Here’s why you should give zero fucks about what they or anyone else thinks.
1. You know you – do your thing
Only you know what makes you tick. So seeking approval or validation from anyone else is just irrelevant. Want to change your job? Been planning a trip to Europe? Want to go to that gig on Friday but no-one else is game…
Do it. The worst thing for most people is the regret of NOT doing something. “If only I’d been brave enough to do blah blah”. Stop making excuses, stop giving a shit what people think and go do it.
2. Social media is poison for your brain
There is a reason why mental health issues have grown astronomically in the social media age. It’s because it amplifies that magnifying glass. People present their best selves, gloss over the shitty bits and make it seem like they’re living the perfect life. Making you feel like crap because you don’t have that item of clothing [ ] lifestyle [ ] hot body [ ]
Try this simple exercise. Stay off social media for a week. See how you feel. I bet you a million Bitcoin that you’ll feel much better about yourself and your life.
3. Know what you have got
OK so you don’t have THAT car, or THAT MUCH money… Maybe you need to burn off that extra fat. Whatever. Chances are you have some strong game of your own.
Focus on the good stuff in your life. It might be that you have a great network of friends, or strong family bond. Maybe you’re talented in a specific area, or you just have that X factor in your life that others don’t.
4. Other people have zero say in what you do
If you’re worried about what people might think, and by ‘people’ I mean any random stranger, then why? Some people care a lot about what other random people think about everything from what shoes they’re wearing to the job they do, day to day.
The truth is, the majority of people don’t care what you do, what you wear, what you had for lunch or whether you’re going to move into a Buddhist monastery for the rest of the year.
Often we project our own insecurities onto other people and use that as an excuse. If you look at it like that, and realise that other people have their own worries and don’t really care what you do, your anxieties will crumble.
5. If it hasn’t happened yet, how do you know what will happen?
A lot of the time, people avoid doing something because of the ‘worst case scenario’. More often than not the worst case scenario is all in our heads and the reality is often much less scary. But many of us make up our minds that if you do X, bad thing will happen.
Embrace the unknown, take a chance and step into the void. And then whatever happens, don’t give a shit.
If you’re afraid of failure, remember that failure is part of the path to success.
If you’re afraid of what people might think then, well, look above…
6. Do some mindfulness stuff
If you really want to know how not to give a shit, then taking time out of your day to relax and do some meditation or mindfulness or whatever people call it these days is huge. Practicing mindfulness is a good way to help you let go of worries and basically stop giving a shit.
Even if you take 5 minutes in the morning to just sit and do nothing but breathe and let your worries flow away, you will set yourself up for the day.
7. Look at the bigger picture
Many of these issues with anxiety and worry revolve around us and our own small world. So my final top tip to not give a shit is a seriously big one…
The world is huge. The universe is MASSIVE. We’re standing on a rock that has been spinning around a ball of nuclear fire for something like 4 billion years. 70 million years ago, giant lizards roamed the spot where you are sat reading this.
Picture the incredible vastness of it all and realise that.. Oh hey, my worries and anxieties are fleeting. They are just me worrying about my tiny moment in time and space. Whatever I do is fine.
And maybe that will help you realise how to not give a shit.
A final note
Now I’m not telling you to go out and do bad stuff and justify as you not giving a shit. But we’re all trying to live our life, pursue our own version of happiness and try to live with as little stress and worry as possible.
Be nice to people and they’ll probably be nice back.
If there are unpleasant people in your life, cut them out. Or, if you can’t for some reason, find help to either cut them out of your life or reduce their impact on you.
Follow your passions. Do something new as often as you can. Challenge yourself.
And you’ll find that you will naturally start to give less of a shit…