Dating is quite hectic, especially these days when people just come and go. Dating apps have made things even worse, so trying to find a partner or even a fling or hook up can be very difficult for men.
These things can be mitigated though, especially if you listen to women and our tips regarding dating.
Keep the conversation going
Good communication is among the best first date conversation tips. You need to keep things going, make the convo flow, make it look effortless. After all, if you can achieve this then both of you will feel like you really clicked and thus, you will certainly have a lot to talk about even on your second date. Trust me when I say that women mostly look out for a man’s conversational skills on a first date, if you can’t even keep the discussion up, then sorry, it’s not going to work.
Now, this is not to say that you need to do everything. Obviously, your partner needs to pull their own weight and make an effort too.
The key thing is to keep a good balance between listening and talking. Look interested, ask questions and don’t be afraid to talk a little about yourself either.
Have good questions
If I have to tell a random man my favorite color I’m going to lose my mind. Leave the chitchat while you’re on a date, that’s only enjoyable while texting. First date questions are much more different, they are there to help you get to know some core values of a person so you can find deal breakers if there are any.
You don’t need to jump straight into politics of course, but bringing up or hinting at sensitive topics can be a good way to steer the conversation into a more meaningful discussion.
If you want to keep it to a sort of chitchat level but more interesting then there are a few good questions. For example:
- What color do you think represents you? Why?
- Which one of your parents is your favorite? (The revealer of mommy and daddy issues)
- Have you ever thought of moving abroad? Where?
- What does a dream vacation look like to you?
- What’s your favorite childhood memory?
These are just a few conversation starters that you can use if it’s clear that neither of you can continue the topic you were just on. Even though they seem like very surface level questions you can very easily pry with them without looking like a creep. Plus, they reveal some very important details about a person, like what their self-image looks like, their relationship with their parents, core values, future plans, all kinds of stuff.
They also make you look really interested in the person you are on a date with, so that is another factor to take into account.
No, I don’t mean get out your suit from your highschool graduation (you really should get a new one). Just wear something nicer than usual, as long as the date allows, of course. For example, even if you’re going to a restaurant that isn’t as fancy, you can still dress the part.
This means dark jeans, comfy shoes (dark sneakers are perfect) and a casual shirt. This doesn’t sound overly dressed-up and doesn’t look like it either, but you have no clue how much of a difference it makes in the eyes of a woman. A person who puts effort into looking nice for her is obviously worth her time and she will have a much better opinion of you.
Use cologne too, something nice. (Skip the fragrances that are often labeled as “player cologne”, women have started looking out for them and it makes a difference too.)
Before leaving the house, double check your outfit, though. Do your clothes have any stains? Tears, holes? Did you grab a bite at home and spilled something on yourself? You need to know these things before going out, they are going to make you look trashy.
Get more advice about how to dress right in our guide.
Alright, this is not for everyone. If you’ve been talking to a woman for a day on Tinder and you guys are only getting together to grab a bite and talk a little, then flowers would just be weird. However, if you met a woman at a concert, at the coffee shop, at the gym, it doesn’t matter
If you met her in person and hit it off. That’s a completely different situation.
Flowers are very traditional and many women say that we don’t like it.
We are lying. It’s cute, you can get some at a supermarket for really cheap and you really can impress any woman with them on a first date. If the person you are going out with said that they aren’t into flowers then you can just bring them a single rose or tulip. They will still appreciate it.
Flowers say that you thought about the date for a little and wanted to impress the other person. They say that you want them to like you really much, but not in a desperate way.
Don’t go to the movies
Please, for the love of god. You can’t talk during a movie, it’s awkward to sit next to someone quietly for two hours straight who is practicly a stranger to you and it’s just… It’s not a good date. If you go to dinner afterwards it’s alright, worst case scenario is that you guys won’t have anything to talk about and you can simply discuss the movie.
But a movie only date is a no go.
Skip the advice of alpha male podcasts
You know the ones I’m talking about. You don’t want to be the weird guy who wants to follow absurd rules and make your date incredibly uncomfortable, because that’s all you will achieve with the “alpha mentality”.
If you want to have a good first date then you’re technically already on the right path. Listen to women, we will tell you what other women want and you won’t end up looking like a weirdo.
Looking for a hot date? Skip Tinder and check out XXX.com instead – there are thousands of gorgeous singles waiting to meet up! Make sure you have a great profile picture though.
Got your own first date tips for men? Share them in the comments below….