Online dating apps have made getting dates easier than ever. But actually succeeding in attracting the right mate is a whole other ball game.
Whatever app you use, from Tinder or eHarmony to Bumble or Zoosk, knowing how to present your profile makes a huge difference to your success. No matter if you’re looking for hook ups, or something more serious, your online dating profile is your calling card. So make it work for you…
While there is a lot of info out there about how to improve your online dating game, there are some simple steps you can take to get great results.
So… We’ve put together these online dating tips that will help you create a profile to get the right kind of attention.
Your profile photo
Don’t underestimate how effective your main profile photo is for effective online dating. You already know that right? Even if you don’t think you’re much of an oil painting (I’m sure you’re gorgeous 😉 )make sure you get a picture that does you justice.
Try to get a well framed shot using a proper DSLR. Everyone has a friend with a proper camera so ask around.
If you can’t get a good pro-camera shot, use a good mobile phone camera. Make sure to clean the lens first, be sure to stand in a well lit area and the most important factor? Smile. Smiling makes everyone look better…
Filters? We’ve heard a lot about body dysmorphia and the how much people edit or filter their image. A well shot full face portrait in good light won’t need any editing.
So, a good profile picture is you, well lit, no glasses on, smiling. Preferably with no filter.
Check out our guide to how to take a good online dating profile picture.
Profile tips to avoid:
Avoid semi naked or shirtless shots, even if you are an actual model. NO DICK PICS (seriously)!
Avoid group shots or pics of you with other people as your profile image – put them in your ‘other’ images.
Also, avoid blurry, out dated or slightly strange images such as you in fancy dress or doing something unusual.
A fun profile
If you’ve heard about the fact that you have 7 seconds to make a good first impression, online it’s even less. Some say its more like 0.3 seconds. So how can you get someones attention in 0.3 seconds?
A good technique is to say out loud, and record on your phone, a quick intro that you would use at a speed dating event. You’ll need to be on your best form, so maybe work out your ideal intro with a friend who you feel comfortable with.
Giving a guideline to how long your profile should be is tricky as many sites offer a different sized profile box. Tinder and Bumble for example limit the profile box to 500 characters, but others can go up to 2000 characters or more. In my experience, a short and punchy bio which says just enough to entice and avoids TMI is good. You want to hook them in, make them want to know more and not run a mile.
Some tips to make your profile #winning.
- Be humorous if you can.
- Tell us about some of the cool stuff you do, but don’t make it up. If you’ve never been mountain climbing, don’t say you do.
- Say what you like and what you’re looking for in a partner.
- Be YOU! Try and get your character across in your profile, so just write naturally.
- You can be a bit risqué, self-deprecating or tongue in cheek about yourself if it works for laughs.
When it comes to writing your profile, you should AVOID:
- Making comments that could be seen as racist, sexist or generally a bit idiotic.
- DON’T SAY you’re just looking for hook-ups. Girls can get away with saying that. You can’t.
- Don’t be too generic – “Hi, I’m Mike and I like walks on the beach, pizza and working on my Harley”. BORING. Spice it up a lil’ guy…
- Don’t say nothing or leave a cryptic profile. You’re trying to make a good impression here remember…
The Chat
So you’ve set up a good pic and an enticing bio and then BOOM. A match.. Now what? OK well, once again first impressions count. The safest bet is always just to go with a ‘hey how are you’ or ‘hello there’ – but obviously the safest bet isn’t always the most successful.
Show you’ve been paying attention and ask them something related to their profile. They like dogs, ask her what breed she would be. Actually that might be a bit risky, but give it a shot. If she likes holidays ask her where she would take you if you went away together. She says shes a vegan, ask her what recipe she’d use to win you over to veganism (if you’re not vegan yourself that is). Try and think of something related to her interests that gets you across as interested in her and fun.
Ideally you want to start a conversation, you want it to be fun and you don’t want her to think you’re a sex pest. Asking open questions (more than just a yes/no answer) is the best way to get the chat flowing.
Read our guide to flirty questions to ask a girl…
AVOID: sex talk straight off the bat. It ain’t gonna work my friend… Well, it might do but about 0.05% of the time, so don’t scare her off.
Rejection is good
You will get rejected, so don’t take it personally. In fact, normally if you’ve been rejected by a girl she’s probably done you a favour. You didn’t click, she had something else going on, whatever… If you didn’t spot it and she did then she did you a favour and saved you wasting any more of your time. Onto the next!
Don’t go for EVERYONE
Some guys play the law of averages and just swipe right on every girl on their profile, sometimes without even looking at their details. This does mean you stand a higher chance of getting a match, but you also stand more chance of wasting your time on girls you don’t really fancy, or girls who you’re completely mismatched with. Do actually pay some attention to their profile and what they’re like.
Setting up a date
Too much chat will quickly go dry, so even if you’re just keeping a girl on the back burner it’s often a good idea to try and organise a meeting. Don’t be afraid to just ask, after all that’s what dating apps are for. If you’ve been having a few chats and it seems to be going well, a simple ‘Hey, I know a cool sushi place that I wanna check out in town. Wanna come with me’ will normally work.
Don’t be too vague. ‘We should go out sometime’ is just too non-committal. Give her something to say yes or no to, not a random possibility of a date in the distant future. ‘There’s a good band on Saturday night’, ‘I’m going to be in your area after work on Thursday’…
Like Nike says, Just Do It.
Looking for a great dating site with thousands of sexy singles? Try eHarmony for free and see who you match up with 😉
Read more of Jason’s dating and seduction advice in his new book: Get More Girls, a seduction guide for men who aren’t dicks
