How The Media Image Of Love & Relationships Affects Us

Love and relationships are often portrayed in an unattainable way in the media

In films, books and games we are always reminded of the ideal partner and everlasting love.

Is there such a thing as a perfect partner? And what actually constitutes a good partnership? Why are more and more singles resorting to dating sites?

Why is it that an increasing amount of people are resorting to dating comparison platforms, such as Datinghive, in order to find the best compatible niche platform to suit their needs? In this article we will analyse the role of love in contemporary media and how it affects our love life and the search for a soulmate?

What are we looking for in our relationships?

In real life, the perfect partner is rarely a lifesaver in the literal sense. The perfect partner should be loyal, you should be able to trust each other and laugh together. According to various surveys, most people want a partner with similar values and goals, as well as similar interests. 

Approximately every second single woman in the United Kingdom wants a partner who shares her political views and is well educated; single men are relatively indifferent. 

According to a study from 2017, the most important qualities in a British partner are humour, generosity, loyalty, intelligence and tenderness. Men also attach above-average importance to good looks in their partner, while it is more important to women that their perfect partner is self-confident.

The key qualities of a perfect partner portrayed in media are not particularly important in reality.

Only 50% of women find it important that their partner is adventurous. Also, only 65 % of the women surveyed want an assertive partner. So the typical qualities of a courageous hero are relatively unimportant to women. More important to them are loyalty (92 %), humour (98 %) and intelligence (90 %).

Looking for love?

So where can you actually find such a partner? Theoretically, you can find the perfect partner anywhere. You could meet him or her while shopping, in a bar, at a football match or at the gym. However, in most situations you will not approach the perfect partner or even recognize him as a potential partner. 

Most people find it rather strange to ask other people for a date or for their phone number in everyday life. Nightlife in bars, clubs, etc. is most likely to be used as an opportunity for deliberate dating.

In fact, most partners are found among acquaintances, when socializing and at the workplace. Since you can’t really control your circle of colleagues in your work place, the only place where you can specifically go looking for a partner is a bar, a restaurant, a theatre or a club. According to a Statista survey, this is where the majority of people find a partner. 

Where can you find love for real?

More and more singles are relying on dating services in their quest for love

An ever growing alternative are dating sites or dating apps, such as Tinder or Bumble. These have enjoyed great popularity since being introduced in the early 2010s, as they make life much more convenient. For shy people in particular. Since all users are aware that the other party is looking for a partner as well, awkward situations can be avoided almost entirely.

Even more singles are devoting their time in finding a designated partner on so-called niche sites, which focus on particular social groups or singles with certain lifestyles and hobbies. Thereby hoping to increase their chances of finding love, by engaging in a homogenous community. 

Dating services for disabled people or certain ethnic minorites, such as Indians, Latinos, or Asians are gaining more and more traction. In recent years, trans dating sites, platforms which provide a safe space for members of  the LGBT-community, such as non-binary and transgender singles, are growing extensively. 

Nowadays, more than 50% of adults under 30 years old, have utilized dating apps, in order to find a casual hook-up or a serious relationship. 

Love in the movies

In films, love is often associated with a high degree of sacrifice. In probably the most well-known British love drama of all time, Romeo and Juliet,  Romeo sacrifices his life, to be with the woman of his dreams. This applies to many postmodern pictures as well.

In many films, especially romantic dramas, one partner sacrifices himself to save the other. Love comedies, however, are usually about an ordinary man trying to win the heart of a good-looking woman. In the end, everything usually goes wrong at first, and in the end the two find each other after all.

Games vs love

In games, the principle of love is usually kept very simple in order to build up a simple plot of the game: A villain kidnaps a woman or princess and a brave hero sets out to rescue her. After he has saved her, the woman is of course infinitely grateful and falls in love with her saviour. 

This principle we all know at least since Smash Brother games. In the successful game, the Italian protagonist has to save the mesmerizing future queen. The player steers little Mario through various levels past obstacles and villains to save the love of his life. 

Again, valour and heroism are used as the path to love. In addition to the classic computer games, love is also an increasingly popular theme in the slots from „666“. For instance, the Immortal Romance slot uses the romantic vampire theme, familiar from series and books such as Supernatural. The love here reaches into eternity.

Literary love

In books, the theme of love is generally highlighted more extensively. Since books are often provide the basis of films or games, there are both the love scenarios common in films and those familiar from games. A popular example of a love story is Kant’s book “The Sorrows of the old Warther”.

Here, young Warther cannot live out his love for Lisa because she is already engaged to another man, Albert. Without her, however, nothing makes sense for Werther. A more modern example is also the books in the Vampire Diaries series mentioned above, in which a vampire falls in love with a young woman and tries to protect her from his evil brother.

What to consider when using online dating sites

If you want to be successful in your efforts to find a partner, there are a few things you should keep in mind:

  • Don’t force anything. People who rush into a relationship often don’t look closely enough. This is why many marriages that are made very young tend to end in divorce early on, while marriages that are entered into later tend to last longer. 
  • There is no harm in going on three, four or five dates before committing yourself for a longer period of time; the familiarization phase should be long enough for everyone to know what he or she is getting involved in.
  • Try to use online dating sites to spread your eggs over multiple baskets. Get involved in numerous conversations and avoid focusing one on online flirt entirely, in order to increase your chances. 
  • In addition, you shouldn’t have too high and rigid expectations. If you only choose women/men who match an absolute ideal, you will generally never find what you are looking for. 
  • In general, trade-offs are important for a decent life together. This does suggest that one is less satisfactory in retrospect. Sometimes it can lead to positive surprises if are willing to dive into something new and deviate from your personal rigid views.
  • Last but not least, don’t pressure yourself too much. Most singles tend to meet their significant other   at times when they least expect it.

Check out our online dating tips to max your chances of finding love online.

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