Am I cool? If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and wondering if you are cool, or if you can be cooler well… We’re gonna take a look with you and help define what makes coolness.
Fitting in with other people and being perceived as cool, on-trend or chilled can cause some of us quite a lot of stress. And if you’re wondering, am I cool or weird? Well, a bit of both actually works well.
Although there are many ‘Am I cool’ quizzes out there, we don’t think that’s the right way to answer the question. So, lets take a look at the things that make someone cool.
The modern definition of being cool
This will depend a lot on where you are from, your social circle and even on your personality. But generally speaking we can pinpoint a lot of things that will make people think you’re a fun person to hang out with.
1. Have your own style
First things first: Looks. It’s alright to look a little scruffy, you don’t need to be put together constantly, but having a sense of style and sticking to it is a huge part of being cool. If fashion says one thing, but you prefer to go another way, finding your own way of expressing yourself in clothing is definitely cool.
Let’s think of Brad Pitt for this example. He’s an actor who portrays badass characters but still carries himself the same way outside of production. Although Brad Pitt is very much the classic Hollywood image of cool, there are aspects of his coolness that make it easy to define and pinpoint what makes him cool.
Usually well-dressed but you can notice that there are times when he’s just wearing a T-shirt and will still look cool. That’s simply because of his style. You might dress like a rock star or have your own geek style. Embrace your own and you will look cool.
2. Be confident
Next, the supporting part of your looks: your confidence. Without some self-esteem you won’t get anywhere with looking like a cool person.
You might have the best style, the most handsome face in the world, but if you don’t carry yourself in a way that reflects that then it will be in vain. It might seem hard to put that kind of outlook on but people say “fake it ‘til you make it” for a very good reason.
Straighten your back and act like you’re already the coolest person on earth with every ounce of confidence in you. Louis C. K. is actually the perfect example for this. He’s not conventionally attractive, but as a comedian he has to carry himself a certain way and it seems to have quite the effect.
And finally, don’t forget to enjoy it. If people perceive you as cool then eventually you can let go of the act and make it your authentic self. Because you’re cool as you are, you likely just need a bit of a boost in social situations when anxiety gets the best of you.
3. Don’t TRY to be cool
Let’s say you have asked yourself “Am I cool?” or “How cool am I, really?” and found these little pieces of advice, then went out to use them. Whatever you do, don’t go overboard.
Jumping onto a trend because everyone thinks it’s cool? Thinking you need a super sports car to look cool? Bro – you can look cool in a Toyota Prius if you have the correct vibe.
Being successful certainly helps with your attitude, which is one of the major factors in being cool. Confidence and style are pretty much the core elements that make you cool.
Even though being confident and stylish is one thing, there is a danger you can go the opposite of cool, which is cocky and arrogant.
4. Be a gentleman
Cool guys are usually gentlemen too. What does this mean? It means you don’t focus on your ego or yourself, but you often focus on others. How do you do this?
First of all, remember your ethics lessons. Politeness goes a long way and letting people speak their minds, not being judgemental and definitely steering clear of negative comments or attitudes will definitely mark you out as cool.
Hold the door for women. Ask people about themselves. And then listen. Do things for other people. But then don’t expect anything in return.
All key traits of coolness.
5. Be a listener not a talker
You may have noticed something about people who are genuinely cool and that is that they seem to listen a lot. They don’t talk about themselves much, they don’t really brag and they often spend a lot of time listening to the person they’re talking to.
This turns the focus away from them and creates another cool trait which is….
Mystery. A mysterious guy is so much cooler than the guy bragging about how many sets he did at the gym, how many girls he banged, what car he’s driving and yadda yadda….
If you’re wondering ‘Am I cool’ look at how you engage with other people and try this exercise next time you’re chatting to people.
Don’t talk about yourself, unprompted. Let the other person do the talking while you still engage them in a polite way. By not telling too much about yourself you will keep up the mystery, which will make you a more interesting person and in turn, cooler.
If you do decide to talk about parts of your life, then keep it nonchalant – which means don’t brag, don’t try and downplay the other persons experience and avoid one-upmanship.
6. Speak your mind
There is definitely something cool about someone who says what they are thinking. But, keeping it clear and to the point is definitely the cool way to do it. This goes for business meetings or if you’re being flirty with a woman.
By telling the other person what you are actually thinking without fear of their opinion going against yours is, once again, something confident people do. If you can do this in your everyday life then it’s a surefire way to make others think better off you. And all you really need to do is tell it how it is without provocation or arrogance. “Agree to disagree” mentality is key here.
Standing up for others, especially if you have no relation to them, is one of the most badass things a person can do.
Let’s say that it’s a small altercation or a girl looks uncomfortable while talking to a man. These are small situations but happen every single day around us and by doing something about them you are stepping out of the onlooking crowd and making a change. What’s cooler than that?
7. Do more stuff
Ever notice how cool people tend to have a lot of hobbies and experiences. This is because they have an attitude of embracing life. You don’t need to take up being a skateboarder or go skydiving every weekend.
You simply need to realise that life is for living and there are so many ways to enjoy it.
Say yes to doing more things, find less excuses to avoid doing them and embrace the wild side of life. Ever wanted to learn a music instrument? Always meant to try surfing? Want to travel but somehow never find the time or money?
Stop making excuses. Do more cool shit and you will naturally be cool.
8. Stay in shape
Let’s be straight here. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you’re losing valuable cool points. No, this isn’t a straight prerequisite for being cool. But if you wanna be as cool as you can be, work on your physique.
You don’t need a six pack or guns of steel. In fact, you don’t even need to be that ripped at all – you just need to look like you care about your appearance and you take care of yourself.
Two days in the gym. An occasional jog – whatever it takes.
And to add to this, you should also be looking at eating well. Shitty food makes for a shitty physique, and probably a load of health issues in later life. So eat well, workout and live well.
Looking after your body is one of the coolest things you can do.
Ever thought of being a PT? This is a cool guide for personal trainer professionals.
9. Focus on your success and achievements
If you’re trying to copy someone else, or emulate a person who you perceive as cool, you’re never gonna get there.
So focus on your own personal ways that you can achieve success.
What is cooler than a successful guy? Yeah, nothing…. Actually, being successful is often the thing that will bring us many of these elements. Particularly our confidence.
Put simply, don’t focus on trying to be a millionaire or whatever. But be successful in what you want to do in your life. This might be being the best at your job. Or maybe you have an idea for a business – so start it!
Or it might simply be aiming to be as good as you can be at your hobby or lifestyle choice.
In short, aim to be the best at what you do. And then yes, you can look in the mirror and say, “Damn… I am cool!”?
Loving these tips? Check out our essential man skills list too…