You’ve seen the pickup artists out there. Often referred to as PUAs, they preach their version of ‘the game’, which is basically how to seduce women. And it’s an appealing message for many.
Why do these pickup artists seem to be everywhere on the internet at the moment? And why do so many pickup artists suck?
Modern life forces us to live online, often at the expense of our personal relationships. And as more young men struggle with getting into meaningful and working relationships with women, this causes a bigger gulf with reality.
More than ever women are being seen as targets to win. And for many men, the lack of success can cause their ego to become fragile and eventually they end up being scared to even put themselves out there.
So, who do they turn to?
Pickup artists. And frankly these guys have no business preaching the stuff they do.
Do pickup artists really work?
Although by sheer numbers there are obviously success stories, for the vast majority of men pickup artists are pretty useless. Why?
First of all, these influencers and pickup artists prey on vulnerable men. Men who struggled with dating and who don’t even feel like themselves anymore. Pickup artists target these people because they know that they can sell them any technique, as they will just blame themselves if it doesn’t work in the end.
Like all influencers, they are selling a dream. The idea that any man can seduce any woman, no matter how hot she is. Now, although with the right presentation and the right attitude, guys can definitely be consistently successful. The truth is that the dream the pickup artists are selling is often one that rarely works for most guys.
Secondly, they know that you will keep spending money on their courses, webinars and all these things because of the cost-sunk fallacy. You have already spent a bit on it, maybe the next course will do the trick. Surely, you will start getting something back from your investment soon…?
Pickup artists suck because they don’t even go the right way about picking up women. We will talk about that later on, however, if the basis of the knowledge you are buying is false, how do you expect to succeed?
And the last part, the biggest scam about these pickup artists is that getting started with them can potentially lead you down the alt-right pipeline. First, you start out by trying to pick up women, the next step is going into the manosphere which is full of podcasts on how to be an alpha, how to get submissive women who are just waiting on your every whim.
And when it doesn’t work come the red pill forums and podcasts. These are filled with misogyny, they talk about hypergamy and hating women.
Before you know it you’re watching Andrew Tate and thinking he has a point…
So, instead of listening to these clowns, how about you listen to the women? Take it from me – you’ll learn more from a woman than any $200 course from some slimeball PUA.
Where pickup artists fail
It is quite simple where pickup artists go wrong: they want to appeal to the male gaze instead of the female one. They are explaining what women want from the point of view of an already pretty misogynistic man – which, surprise surprise, isn’t necessarily what women want.
They also encourage men to use some shady psychology in an attempt to woo women. And while some of these techniques might *work*, it’s at the expense of the value of a human interaction.
Let me explain.
You could approach a woman in the street using a pickup artists techniques. You might even manage to charm her with your good humour and manage to get her number. Hell… You might even get a date.
But the whole technique of the PUA is to use the numbers theory. That is that you approach so many women that one of them is eventually going to say yes to your approach.
Put simply it is HARD WORK for guys. And there is little value in the interactions you’re trying to generate. Plus you end up seeing women not as companions worth spending your time and attention with, but a number in an endless stream of potential conquests.
Pickup artists also advise men to highlight their own value, so that they can establish how important they could be in a woman’s life. This might be dropping hints about your stamina, or how you do some random cool hobby.
In short they gamify, in the worst way possible, the human interaction. And more to the point they reduce the act of seduction from a joy to a tedious game.
So although you may appear more masculine or appealing, it also breeds a toxic approach to women and sex. And what woman would want a partner like that?
Giving the pickup artist mentality a healthy twist
Let me begin by saying that pickup artists do have some value to their words. They just aren’t going about it the right way.
Yes, you need to be more confident. And sure, starting a conversation with a girl you don’t know is definitely a good thing to do, if you genuinely want to try and seal the deal. Just don’t waste her time (or yours).
So what are the key techniques you can use from pickup artists? (We’re saving you hundreds of dollars here… You’re welcome by the way).
Pickup artists love to preach about needing confidence. And they are right, except they forget it’s not about superficial confidence, or projecting confidence. People, especially women, can sense false confidence because it comes off as cocky and arrogant.
Confidence is something that you need to work on within yourself.
Build you confidence by looking after yourself physically, understanding how to interact with people and make conversation and not just overuse eye contact and probing questions to batter her into wanting to fuck you. (cos she won’t)
Proving your value
When you are getting to know someone you need to be genuine and interested in them. Like, really. So asking probing questions and relating it back to how awesome you are might be a clever psychological tip from the pickup artist scammers. But it doesn’t genuinely prove your value as a companion to your potential conquest.
You need to think about the other person’s values too, focus on what they are saying and think about whether they are actually a good match or not.
Your value will come from the quality of your interaction, whether that is good humour, being a good listener or offering some fun flirting.
Generic and repeated openers
There’s the 3-second rule, some PUAs like to send the same generic opener to everyone on dating apps, some will advise you to basically follow a dialogue tree.
For the love of god, be original. Be authentic, be yourself. It’s fine to have a few safe opening lines, or a few reliable lines of conversation, but you don’t need to follow the rules of ‘the game’.
Of course the point here is that PUAs are breeding the throwaway interaction, the one and done. But that gets tired quickly and women can often spot ‘the game’.
Read up about how to build a rapport with women using compliments
I think this tip has the most value. By dressing well, accessorising and even wearing items that draw the attention you might have a better chance at striking up a conversation. However, PUAs tend to put too much emphasis on this and they sometimes even advise men to wear trashy clothing (for example, a shirt that says “I ❤️ female orgasms”).
Instead, just focus on developing a good sense of style and even understanding what dressing sexy as a guy looks like. Find an aesthetic that fits you and stick to it. It will make a world of a difference for your looks, especially if you get a good haircut and keep up with your grooming habits.
Getting her into bed
Let’s be honest here. The whole point in pickup artists is to get as many women to fuck you as possible. Right?
So whats the killer tip? The trick that works every time? The one secret that will make more women want to fuck you.
Well. There isn’t one tip. It’s having a good opener, building rapport, getting her to find your company enjoyable and then… Here it is guys….
Asking if she’s down to fuck.
Yes. It’s that easy.
How you say it might vary. You might say, ‘you wanna come to mine later?’, or maybe ‘can I kiss you?’. Or you might say ‘When are we gonna leave this bar and fuck?’.
She might say no. She might say yes. That’s how it has worked with humans since we started fucking each other all those thousands of years ago.
And that, gentlemen, is how to get more women into bed without needing to pay for a pickup artists shitty course.
Want to know how to turn up the heat? Read our guide to asking fun and flirty dirty questions.
Lets’s summarise this post
Pick up artists or PUAs are just sleazy guys selling a course to their ideal target market. This target market is usually men who lack the confidence to speak to women and may even lack the social skills to make a connection.
In short, yes pickup artists suck.
The things every guy can do to have sex with more women (without falling for a PUA scam), are:
- Take care of your appearance. Wash, do some grooming, go to the gym and have a defined sense of style (basically, wear some nice clothes)
- Build up your confidence by speaking to more women in a non-sexual context. Go to non-dating related meetings, sports events, whatever. Just get comfortable around women
- Understand why women might be interested in you, and how to identify that. They might find you funny, cute, cool – whatever. Find your unique angle and play to it
- Go on dates. Don’t be afraid of rejection because thats part of the process. Learn from every date, whether it is a success or not
- Know how to flirt and ask flirty questions, and even when to ask the closing question…