Making friends and influencing people, sure thing. Being a confident and outgoing guy is a proper man skill and one that every guy should master. BUT…
There is a fine line between being a cool and confident guy and a total bellend. So yeah, don’t be the guy that everyone hates at the party, in the office or just in life in general.
So, what are the traits of THAT guy? These are the stereotypical male profiles (which hopefully you don’t fit) that define the dickhead guy.
1. The boaster
Ohhh so you make $100k a month? Your car cost whatnow? You banged how many chicks in a day…? Wow dude…. You’re like, really fucking annoying.
Look, its fine if you do some cool shit to drop it into conversation at relevant points. And yes, we all wanna sometimes revel in the social kudos of the cool shit we’ve done. But if you find yourself talking about what stuff you’ve done and people and nervously laughing along, you might just be the annoying boasting guy.
Take a moment to stop talking and let someone else share their experiences for a moment.
Oh and this also applies to social media…
2. The drug fiend
A bit of coke here or there, or the odd toke on a spliff, sure thing. But if you are ON IT, as soon as possible, then you don’t just have a drugs problem you probably also have a being a dickhead problem. And being in your face about it doesn’t make you cool or edgy, it makes you that annoying drugs guy.
We’ve all met that guy. In the bathroom every 10 minutes at the party or turning up baked to every event. Bro, save it for your downtime cos it doesn’t do you any favours socially.
3. The build you up and knock you down-er
A strange one this. There is a certain type of guy, or person, who seems to get off on putting people down. But it is usually accompanied by first building people up and seemingly praising them.
“Oh you’re so cool”, “You’re such a great guy/girl” will be dropped seemingly randomly and at every opportunity. But then they seem to switch and they will subtly put you down, “You talk a lot of shit”, “Why do you dress like a clown?”
By using this form of emotional manipulation, people often seek to control others or keep them in check. Although this guy is most likely to use this behaviour with women, they do also use it with men too.
This is usually a reflection on their personal low-self esteem. So if this is you, and you feel the need to knock people down, you might need to deal with some issues and go see a psychologist. Don’t be that guy who thinks that putting people down makes you a better person.
It doesn’t. It’s toxic behaviour and it is long term damaging to your relationships…
4. The aggressive type
Violence never solved anything. Cliche, but true. And actually an alarming amount of guys seem to think it’s OK to display aggression, whether that is squaring up to people at the first sign of a challenge to their masculinity, or going for the pointy finger and shouting.
Aggression can be both physical and emotional intimidation and if you find yourself going this route, you need to take a look in the mirror. It’s also a red flag for women as an aggressive guy totally signals potential domestic violence or sexual assault.
Learn to take a step back, breathe deeply and control your aggressive urges. And definitely don’t be THAT GUY when it comes to sexual assault.
5. The loud mouth guy
In a way this guy is usually all of the above. But the loud mouth guy might just simply not know when to STFU – he might not necessarily be aggressive, narcissitic or manipulative. He might just be fucking annoying.
The loud mouth guy is probably talking loudly over everyone in any conversation. He might arrive into other people’s conversations and instantly take over with his own anecdotes. And he is most likely mansplaining his theories on male-female dynamics at work to the girls from HR.
Loud mouth guy mostly suffers from a combination of a lack of self-awareness coupled with some additional narcissism. Don’t be that guy…
Stop talking. Listen. Avoid the urge to share your thoughts and opinions on EVERYTHING.
Oh, and you don’t need to shout.
(By the way has this so far sounded like Andrew Tate? Yeah that is because he is the very model of THAT GUY).
6. The jock/bro
Again, this is one of those male profiles that pretty much no-one likes, but definitely seems to proliferate. Often the jock/bro is seen as an American frat boy, with absurdly pumped up muscles, a Hollister sweatshirt and a baseball cap on backwards.
But this profile is no-longer limited to Americans and you’ll see this douche everywhere from the UK and France to India and Australia.
Whats so annoying about the jock? Well, it’s usually all of the above. The arrogance, the loud-mouth attitude and the lack of self-awareness.
There is nothing wrong with being well dressed, confident and athletic. But add a bit of respect for others, tone down the sexism/misogyny and avoid whooping and shouting about everything.
7. The Bitch
Yup. that’s right. Guys can be bitches too. And oh fucking hell can they be super annoying.
Gossiping, bad mouthing, being two faced and generally being a total bitch are all traits that some guys weirdly excel at. Although this is often a male trait associated with gay guys, the truth is that any man can be a bitch. It’s often slightly more subtle in guys who aren’t camp, but you can spot it in a keen appetite for gossip or a lack of patience with people.
Who’s that guy?
Putting it simply, if you think Andrew Tate is a model guy then, nahh. You need to go back and choose your male role models from scratch.
If you wanna be the guy that people remember for the right reasons, focus on building up your man skills, understand how to talk to people and take some time to focus on your mindset.
And check out our guide to being a playboy for how to be a truly cool character.